1 day left of teaching
it's thursday and i have today and tomorrow off, then my
last teaching shift is on saturday for 4 hours. i invited a
bunch of people to go bowling after work (after 6pm) at
galleria (one of the malls in bakirkoy) and then we may go
to taksim for a drink or something.
california is looming on the horizon.... i have rsvp'd to my
friend tony's wedding reception, which will be held on 4
days after i arrive in SF. so... plans are being made.
****
went out for drinks the other night with arzu (one of my
friends/students), arzu's uncle hussein (a director at
showTV - one of the TV stations here), and my friend
didem (didem is an english teacher, but is turkish and
grew up in london). we ended up going to some secret
little restaurant where only film people, artists, writers,
and actors go to. it was a funky little place that reminded
me of an old school hollywood restaurant, like musso
& frank's on hollywood boulevard.
it was fun, but then didem and i got in a little argument
about america. basically, she said she "...would never
go to america... it's the
trashcan of the world."
*sigh*this comment irked me and i went on a tirade about not
judging a place until you actually visited it.... but then,
part of me knows.... american culture and politics are
spread so thick across the world... it's difficult to defend,
really. but i disagreed with her... yes, america has its
share of problems, but so does england, so does turkey,
so does every country on the earth.
(but yes, america is a little too big for its britches nowadays)****
am reading another book found on the bookshelves of
my apartment. it is fantastic and reminds me of virginia
woolf's style of writing. it's called
the other side of themountain and was written by a turkish woman named
erendiz atasu.
****
ok... i'm off to walk istiklal caddesi in the rain. glad i
brought my umbrella!
dear tarkan....
dear tarkan,i went to your concert last night in besiktas at inonu stadıum and i just wanted to let you know that it wasan amazing show and that you are.... in a word.... HOT.hugs n' kisses,camilleok.... seriously, i went to see tarkan last night and it was
a fantastic show. some DJ warmed up for him (i have no
idea who it was, but he was laying down some nice beats)
and then at around 9:30 or so, the lights went out and
the show began. tarkan came out and the crowd went
CRAZY!!!
(so did i -- hee hee!)huge fireworks shot out from the bandstands of inonu
stadium -- beautiful, but almost gave me a heart attack!
he then started singing..... in english! at first i thought:
A) holy bejeezus! tarkan's singing in
english!
or
B) holy bejeezus! suddenly, i can understand
turkish!?!
anyway.... he was great. he can sing, he can dance, he
made the audience feel wonderful-- like a homecoming
show for him (which it was, since he lives in new york
now). there were sexy, sexy bellydancers, cirque du
soleil-like acrobats, beautiful animations choreographed
for each song.... you name it. it was a fantastic show!!
and yes.... he is damn handsome. gay... straight... bi.....
whatever.
ahhh yes.....
and someone left me a comment on my last post that
i would like to address:
"....But you do know that you're destined to be in this horrible 'Turkophile' Twilight Zone....?? always missing where you are not, and wishing that teleporting was reality, so that you could spend a few days here, a few days there...."i know. i know this too well and i'm still HERE! god. what
am i gonna do?!
she also wanted to know the information about the expat
book. it's called
tales from the expat harem and has only
been published in turkey so far. click on the title for a link
to the official website. it's a wonderful book and i
highlyrecommend it to anyone who is a turkophile or who has
ever lived/worked/traveled here.
ok... i'm off. need to locate some dinner and then nap.
iyi akşamlar...
meandering
yesterday i finally found a copy of the "expat harem" book.... i think
i read about 75% of it last night... it's anthology of different women's
stories about living/working/experiencing turkey, so each chapter
was captivating and i really enjoyed reading it thus far.
next week is my last week of work. my students are sad.... they are
trying to convince me not to go, but i keep telling them
"it's not you!it's not the school! it's me! i have to go....!" the easiest answer i can
give them is
"i have to go back. my parents miss me." (true, yes mom & dad, i know!) turkish people have intense bonds with their families so if i say
that, they just nod in quiet understanding. but there are a few students
who come in every day and just tell me, "i'm used to you. you're
different and special. do you have to go? will you come back?"
it makes me sad. i'm sad to leave. i keep trying to tell myself
everything will be fine
(i'm sure it will, but....) and remind myself of things
i miss about america, about my culture, about
home.
ok..... so here are some things i miss (firstly, of course... my friends
and my family): dinner parties with my friends, laughing and drinking
wine while we discuss any number of topics, being able to walk or run
outside without people thinking you are insane
(people just don't do it in turkey... i would feel like a freak if i put on some sports clothes and tried to jog anyhere), big supermarkets,BBQ chicken, tacos, sushi, being able to understand and navigate
everything... here, it is difficult... if i need to go to the doctor...
dear lord.... or ask for some medicine at the pharmacist. i somehow always
get what i need, but it's not easy. life isn't easy here, not laid out on
a plate like it is in america. i won't miss bargaining, although it is nice
to be able to lower the price of certain things on occasion, i won't miss
stumbling through conversations with my extremely limited turkish--
it will be nice to be understood, going to giant bookstores and browsing,
shopping without people following me around like a hawk, blah blah blah...
i don't know. there's a lot that i miss but there's also a lot i have become
suspicious and wary of. maybe that's a good thing.... the perspective of
an outsider.
i have made one big decision though..... i am
not buying a car. will
it be possible!!?!? i have been living in istanbul without a car and
have gotten along.... i'm used to buses, trains, minibuses.... you name
it! but will it be possible to exist without a car in the bay area?? i hope
so. life will be more limited, but i just don't want to be tethered down
by a car (oh my god, will it be stolen!?!?!), car payments, car insurance,
gas prices.... what a nightmare! well.... i will try. it has been very
freeing not having a car so we'll see if it's a possibility.
ok... it's friday.... i'm off..... tomorrow is the tarkan concert in inonu
stadium! ahhhh! tarkan!!!! tarkannnnnnnn!!!!!!!
sunday night, in weird internet cafe again in taksim
ok..... three good things.
1) i will see tarkan in concert in 13 days! aah!
2) i will be here for half of ramadan!
3) my friend hande helped me find a cheap fare on lufthansa to
san francisco! ("cheap" meaning.... not 2500 USD like i was finding
on the internet!) if we don't find a cheaper fare, i will buy the ticket
on tuesday at the airport with hande. (note: potential return date
is 10/12/05)
alright.... off to grab some töst and then go to sleep. i am BEAT!
hüzün
i finished reading orhan pamuk's latest novel,
istanbul: memories and the citylast night a little after midnight. it was the first book of his
that i have read, and although i found it to be a bit long-winded
and overindulgent, i really enjoyed it. i highly recommend it to
anyone who is curious about istanbul. pamuk talks a lot about
the hüzün, the
melancholy, that is an essential part of this city.
it's fascinating to read about his memories of old istanbul, of
other artists' and writers' impressions and experiences in
istanbul, and how pamuk's life has been shaped by this
environment.
it's also interesting because he grew up in cihangir (where i
am living right now) and talks a lot about the neighborhood,
the people, and the things he remembers.
there's another book i would really like to buy before i
leave turkey, but i don't think it has been published yet. it's
a collection of stories (all personal essays, i believe) written
by foreign women who live or have lived in turkey. the book
is called
tales from the ex-pat harem and i hope i can find it
here because it won't be published in the USA until spring 2006.
